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What Would Forrest Do?

What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario: Holy Moly!  The Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland is spewing ash into the air, making air travel in Europe impossible! 

What Would Forrest Do? Forrest heads off to Iceland and releases a monster testosterone-laden belch that clears the ash away. As a side result, there is a rainbow over Iceland for the next 328 years.

2 comments |

What Would Forrest Do?

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Forrest realizes he's become a little stale lately.  He's going on vacation for a few weeks to re-evaluate his priorities.  He apologizes for letting you all down.


7 comments |

What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario: The peaceful Na'vi of Pandora face extinction as the brutal sky people attempt to plunder the planet of its precious resources.

What Would Forrest Do? Forrest infiltrates the Na'vi in a brutal plan to gain their trust and then help the sky people in their attempts to control the planet.  After Forrest mates with a beautiful Na'vi, he goes back to the sky people helps them in their quest.  Forrest prefers alien chicks with three boobs.

9 comments |

What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario: Sweet Jesus!  A feeble old lady has just been run over by a taxi in Times Square.  People are standing around taking pictures but no one's helping.

What Would Forrest Do? Forrest runs over to help the feeble old lady.  With his right hand he lifts the cab off of her, with his left hand be buys a hot dog from the street vendor.  Forrest loves a NY hot dog.

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What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario: Oh no!  Global Warming is melting the ice, and the poor polar bears can’t get to the seals!

What Would Forrest Do? Forrest’s magical chest hair strikes again!  Forrest rips out some of his glorious chest mane and sprinkles it on the melted ice, creating an ice bridge!  The polar bears take their new hair highway to the sea, and gorge themselves on delicious seals.  


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What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario: Uh-oh, bad news.  Ryan Seacrest is so enthralled with his own image in the video monitor that he forgets to start the 10 second countdown to midnight!

What Would Forest Do?  Forest punches Ryan in the face and takes over the count himself.  Forrest hates fancy boys.


2 comments |

What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario - On Christmas Eve, while all cozy in front of the tree with his wife, Forrest hears a tapping on his roof.

What Would Forrest Do? - Forrest would shoot first and ask questions later.  He runs to his gun cabinet and shoots the hell out of his roof.  Unfortunately, all of Santa's reindeer die.  Fortunately, Forrest makes a kick ass reindeer sausage.

5 comments |

What Would Forrest Do?

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Scenario - According to the Mayan calendar, the world is going to end on December 21, 2012!

What Would Forrest Do? - Forrest flies around the Earth Superman style until he's back in the time of the ancient Mayans. He calmly explains to the Mayan king that if he doesn't extend the calendar, Forrest is going to rip out his throat and shit down his neck. The king quickly complies, adding 200 years to the calendar, thereby giving Forest plenty of time to continue his reign of awesomeness.

3 comments |


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