The Ultimate Fighter 14: Episode 2 Recap

Man, last week's fights ruled!  I'm so cautiously optimistic that I'm...cautious.  But I do love the little guys.  They usually have my favorite fights.  Despite all this cautious optimism, there should be a few guys that will provide plenty of material for us. i.e. Green-haired dude, sunglasses inside dude, cocky foreign guy, and so on.

Episode 2 starts out with a good old-fashioned food orgy.  This is going to be right up my alley.  The coaches are picking their dream team and Jason Miller is dipping.  Gross.  Gum cancer.   Coin flip, let's see.  Michael Bisping wins the coin flip and he........picks the first motherflipping fighter.  Seriously?  This is Season 14.  At least Miller realizes the importance of being able to pick the first fight.  Thank goodness someone has some brains in this operation.  

Training starts, lots of sweaty men on the screen.  Miller brings compression suits to the house for his team.  I'm not too sure about them.  It really seemed like a not too subtle add for Dodge as that is what Miller burns rubber going into and out of the driveway with.  Sigh, product placement.

The first fight is announced and it shall be Brian Caraway vs. Marcus Brimage.

Marcus "Fatty Fatty Two By Four" Brimage stands on the scale after training and he has 12 pounds to lose.  Cue the painful, crying man, "I can't do it" cutting weight scene.  And I was wrong.  Bisping's salt bath to blankets in bed method seems not too painful.  

Miller leads the first prank of the season.  He brings all of the training tires into Bisping's changing room.  And hijinks ensue.  

Brimage farts during an interview and Donna and I are hysterically laughing.  We're very mature that way.  A good fart is guaranteed to have us laughing.  Good times.

Fight Time!

Round One.  Caraway takes down Brimage pretty early in the round and proceeds to not do too much down there for a couple of minutes.  He get's Brimage's back and Brimage looks a little out of his depth.  Caraway is working valiantly (valiantly?  Really, Beth?) to submit Brimage and Caraway's controlling the fight pretty well so far as he's had Brimage's back for at least 3 minutes of the first round.  Brimage is saved by the bell.

Round Two.  Brimage starts the round by trying really hard to knock out Caraway.  No dice.  They're back on the ground within 30 seconds and Caraway has Brimage's back already.  They're back up with 4 minutes left and again Brimage tries to knock out Caraway.  Again, no dice.  On the ground again and Caraway has Brimage's back again.  I think you can see a pattern here.  Except this time, Caraway submits Brimage.   Caraway via submission.

AND AGAIN THE PERSON WHO PICKS THE FIRST FIGHT WINS!  WHEN WILL THESE MORONS WHO WIN THE COIN TOSS LEARN TO PICK THE FIRST FIGHT?????