The Ultimate Fighter 14: Episode 9 Recap

Here we are at the end of this all and as usual, I'm kind of over it. Why am I such a fickle broad? I've even dug this season. But when it comes down to it, I'm desperate at this point to see Jason Miller kick Michael Bisping's booty. Every episode left to watch is one more week that I have to wait to see the fight. But it's only a few more days now. Huzzah! And with PillowFists McTeamTime at -200, I'm hoping I can make some money off of a swift and bloody Mayhem victory. Alright, my friends, let's get this over with shall we?

We start with some teammate fighting teammate drama. Except that it feels really manufactured since Johnny Bedford and John Dodson obviously have no great love for each other. Johnny Bedford has a "Jon Fitch in Training" look that I find off putting. I'm trying not to let it skew my opinion because I do want Bedford to win. John Dodson sucked for giving up info on his teammates and his smile makes me want to punch him in the face. I'm just a ray of sunshine, aren't I?

Johnny Bedford vs. John Dodson

Round One. They're punching and kicking and stuff. Some are landing, some aren't. Bedford's cup is frighteningly large. Does he really need one that big or is he just trying to psych out his opponent and make the ladies crazy? It sure makes a girl wonder. He does seem a little too angry to be the kind of guy who has a monster schlong. Aren't they usually laid-back and all smiles? I'd think so. There's blood. I think it's Bedford's. I got distracted thinking about penises. Yep, Bedford's bleeding from him nose. John "I've only been taken down once and will never be taken down again" Dodson is taken down. You kind of had to see that happening, didn't you?

Round Two. Bedford's cup it still huge and they're still punching and kicking each other. And with that, Dodson knocks out Bedford. And then he proceeds to punch an obviously unconscious Bedford about 5 more times in the head. As a finale, Dodson does a backflip and comes close to kicking Herb Dean in the head. Good times.

It's time for Brian Caraway and Diego Brandao. We have some last night in the house antics. Mayham rides a bike through the house in his manties. They all drink lots of beer. Except Diego. He gets pissed off. I think he's just an angry dude. It seems that Diego thinks he has a leg up with God because he's poor. I guess I could have misunderstood him but they do have subtitles. DIego might be poor, but Brian Caraway has to deal with all the twitter beefs his girlfriend gets in. I'd call that even.

Diego Brandao vs. Brian Caraway

Round One. Both guys come out pretty hard to win this fight. They're both defending themselves pretty well so nothing major has stuck. Diego knocks down Caraway towards the end of the round and starts punching. Caraway isn't really recovering. Caraway is loopy but Rosenthal hasn't stopped the fight yet. And with that Rosenthal ends the fight. Diego wins by TKO. Son of a bitch.