20 Questions With MiddleEasy's Zeus

Every morning my day starts with a visit to two sites, Bloody Elbow and MiddleEasy.   Zeus, the main man behind Middle Easy has always been really supportive of our site which earns him two Beth and Donna bosom hugs on the spot.  But he's always been super mysterious as well.  For a long time, I believed he was a self aware computer in a bunker in the Arizona desert.  However, his answers to these questions would have me think differently.  I reserve judgment until we meet at the Fan Expo in Boston.

1.       So, what are you wearing?

I'm wearing a red 'Team Korea' shirt some drunk guy gave me at ESPNZone in downtown LA the night KJ Noons' dad nearly choked me out. Shorts, Hurley sandals and years of childhood resentment.

2.       When you were 10 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A responsible adult so I can watch a rated R movie without my parents telling me to close my eyes when a sex scene would come on.

3.       If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

The power to make any parking attendant immediately explode on contact if they issue a ticket to my vehicle. 

4.       What is the worst way you can think of to have to spend an evening?

Knowing that the following morning, an asteroid will hit earth and make all life on earth extinct and erase all signs of human civilization from the planet. I think that is the absolute worst way to spend an evening.

5.       I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.  What is that?

I've been in love once and the chick sat me down at her parents' house to tell me she was turning lesbian and then offered me some Korean BBQ afterward. It's a little hard to eat BBQ knowing that a chick you loved has elected to go with the same sex over you.

6.       What song is currently playing on your iPod?

Bjork - Declare Independence solely because I'm blown away that DREAM used that song in conjunction with footage of the bombing of Pearl Harbor to cut a promo for Dream 14.

7.       What is your favorite curse word?

 [expletive] 

8.       What is your favorite movie?

Airheads, since it's impossible not to watch when it comes on television.

9.       Do these jeans make my butt look big?

Only in a good way. The best way, of course.

10.   If you could take two weeks off, where would you go?

I would travel back in time exactly one day before I had this hypothetical two weeks off and forever be caught in a time loop of relaxation.

11.   If you could only listen to one band/musician for the rest of your life, who would it be?

Undoubtedly Wu-Tang Clan. They taught me everything I needed to know about everything I needed to know.

12.   Will you be my boyfriend?

I'm a complete nutcase. Have you actually read MiddleEasy? I reference my ex-girlfriends at least once a week.

13.   Do you ever get in touch with your feminine side?  If so, how?

I cross-dress, occasionally. My attempts to get Ben Fowlkes from MMAFighting to hop on the bandwagon have been futile thus far.

14.   Which actor would you want to play you in a movie about your life?

Any cast member off the movie Gummo would do just fine.

15.   Do you dig chicks with tattoos?

I'm covered with them, so of course. I actually dig chicks without tattoos too. My standards include chicks with or without tattoos. 

16.   Would you rather be President of the United States or the lead singer of a rock band?

President of the United States. Apparently it looks better on your resume. 

17.   What was your first job?

Cart cleaner at a golf course. I worked with an older guy named Otis. He would tell me that the world is hollow and inside the planet is an inner-earth filled with giants and large fruit. Otis said the only way you could enter the hollow earth is from the south pole. A few months later, Otis left the golf course to embark on an expedition to the south pole. He left me his old Ford Mustang which I still have parked in my parent's garage to this day. 

18.   You just won $50 million in the lottery.  What’s the first thing you buy?

I would pay Melvin Manhoef the $700 I owe him. Life is not good when you owe a guy with the highest KO ratio in MMA history money. 

19.   What is your worst habit?

Saying the name 'Sexyama' in a Boston accent. Try it, it's ridiculous.

20.   Before you take us to bed or lose us forever, what would you like to say to the ladies who are fans of MMA?

Continue to watch as much MMA as possible and in the words of Dan Quinn 'Ladies, whoever does date me will be rewarded when the scientific community finally wakes up and validates that I actually have the ability to turn water into fuel'.