UFC Fight Night 20 Live Results

Before I begin, I must send a big ups to Donna for the delicious banana and chocolate wontons that I am currently stuffing my face with.  What are my initial thoughts you ask?  I've already got the jitters about my immortal beloved's fight (could be the coffee, but I don't think so, I'm taking some Xanax just in case), I'm super-jazzed to see how Tom Lawlor chooses to enter the arena, and while I don't think it's going to happen, I'm hoping that my shame dog (Nate Diaz) beats up Gray Maynard.  Oh, and I really hope that Roadrunner doesn't ruin my night with a craptastic internet connection.  Let's begin shall we?

Sadollah vs. Blackburn

I feel that my immortal beloved must win this fight in order to be taken seriously as a fighter.  He's fab as a host on the Aftermath, however, he's a fighter first and foremost.  I'm feeling a little nervous as the Xanax has not kicked in yet.  Is it weird that I get nervous before certain guys fight?  I always get nervous before certain fighters fight like BJ Penn or Forrest Griffin.  I really need another hobby.  I'm pretty sure a just saw Amir mouth "Beth rocks my universe" to the camera.  Oh, never mind, the Xanax has kicked in.  Woot!

Ooh, a bonus Cameron Diffley shot.  I'm all awash in warm fuzzies.  Sadollah's throwing some nice leg kicks in the first round.  Brackburn looks like he's just gonna strike.  I hope that that will be his downfall.  Great first round for Amir.  He rocked Blackburn and didn't get knocked out.  Oh happy day!  Second round begins and Blackburn attempts a leg kick.  He must be thinking, "Hey, it hurts like hell when Amir kicks me, maybe I should try that."  Blackburn is spending some time just holding on to Amir and I have to say that I'm more than a little jealous.  If it was me I'd be stroking his hair and giving him a bosom hug too.  But hey, that's just me.  Round three begins and Amir rocks Blackburn again.  Yipee!  Sadollah is an animal this round!  It's like he's feeding off of the very dirty thoughts I'm sending his way.  You're welcome, Amir.  The fight goes the distance and I'm giving this one to my man.  And no, I'm not thinking with my girly bits.

Amir wins!  Amir said, "I love you guys" while talking to Joe Rogan.  I think we all know that he meant, "Beth, I love you and want to do you."  And then he just winked at me.  Goodness, all this attention is making me a little uncomfortable.

Lawlor vs. Simpson

Please, oh please let them show Lawlor's walkout.  Is it too much for a Gal to ask?  Apparently it is too much to ask.  Damn you commercials.  If I wasn't floating on a cloud of marshmallows right now I'd be pretty pissed off.  Lawlor gets my instant love for going to UCF, as I have many fabulous, if not hazy, memories of going there for undergrad.  Round 1 and Lawlor is a beast!  He's throwing some wicked punches.  I'd sure like to see him take this one.  I don't think he gets a lot of respect cause he's somewhat of a goofball, but he kicks major ass.  Lawlor is basically using Simpson as a punching bag.  I don't know how he's still standing.  Somehow he survived the first round, but I wouldn't be surprised if he peed his pants just a little bit.  Round 2 begins.  I have to say, Simpson is a tough bastard.  He's been beaten like a red-headed stepchild and he keeps coming back for more.  Lawlor definitely took that round too.  Round 3 begins.  Sorry, I got caught up in Twitter.  But really, is there any doubt that Lawlor takes this decision?  Great fight!  So glad that Lawlor got to fight on the main card.  Um, was I watching a different fight than the judges?  Simpson wins it.  I mean, my prediction was correct but I didn't really want it to be.  Boo.

Escudero vs. Dunham

Donna says that there is something about Escudero that she doesn't like.  She's not sure what it is, but it's there.  I think I may agree with her.  Has anyone else noticed how much stand up there's been in these fights.  Bring on the ground game dammit!  Oh my goodness, ground game!  It's like I'm willing it to happen.  I'm going to go by a lotto ticket.  Someone on another site commented that she hated us, so that's pretty cool.  Cause I definitely think that we're very hateable.  I mean, we're funny, wicked smart, shockingly awesome and just generally fabulous.  So yeah, I guess that's a lot to hate.  I hope her vagina falls off.

Yeah, so there's a fight going on.  I got a little distracted by our #1 fan.  I gave the first round to Escudero, but Dunham is definitely dominating the 2nd round.  Off to the 3rd round.  Oh God, Escudero got caught in an arm bar and I was pretty sure that we would have to watch his arm snap.  Thank goodness he did.  That would have given me the heebee jeebee's for weeks.  Escudero finally taps and Dunham takes the win.

On a personal note, my hair is so thick that it is sill wet because I put it in a ponytail right after I got out of the show 14 hours ago.  Suck on that #1 fan.  Has that vagina fallen off yet?

Diaz vs. Maynard

Oh my goodness, it's time for my shame dog to fight.  If you don't know what a shame dog is, it's someone that you are attracted to but ashamed by it.  It could be worse, my best friend's shame dog is Gilbert Godfried.  I picked Maynard for this fight, but I am rooting for Diaz.  Damn these feelings!  Round 1 begins and it's starting with some striking. I have to think that that's not the best strategy for Maynard.  Diaz has those freakishly long limbs.  Being the classy lady that I am, I must mention the size of Diaz's cup.  You always have to watch out for those tall skinny boys.  2nd round and Maynard is taunting Diaz by dropping his hands.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing a guy get knocked out after pulling BS like that.  Ha, ha, Couture yells at him in between rounds for doing it.  Mike Goldberg keeps talking about BJ Penn being the next fight for Maynard.  I have to say, I don't think he would stand a chance against BJ.  Geez, I hate to say it, but I'm finding this fight a little dull.  I would have liked to see Maynards wrestling vs Diaz's BJJ.  This is a tough fight to call.  I think they both kind of blew it equally.  And the decision goes to Maynard.

Well, I guess it wasn't a total bust.  My immortal beloved won his fight and basically declared his love for me on national television.  I'm definitely feeling like the big winner.  Until next time....