A Dude's View: MMA Fighters as NCAA Football Teams
Whether you like it or not, football season is upon us. As a guide to who to cheer for, or who to root against, we’re comparing some of the biggest UFC names to some of the biggest teams in College Football.
Forrest Griffin: Georgia (Entire SEC)
If anyone should represent the SEC, it has to be our man Forrest Griffin. Not only is he from Georgia, he’s the prototypical Southern Man. Tailgating in the SEC, is like hanging out at Griffin’s family reunion. We’ll pick Georgia, but he could easily be anyone else in the SEC. Except Vanderbilt, seeing Griffin at Vanderbilt would be no less surprising than hearing, "Dr. Griffin will be right with you".
Anderson Silva: USC
A little too pretty, but they both get the job done. Dropping his hands against Griffin was the equivalent of a double reverse pass, but should we really be surprised with what Pete Carroll or Silva do anymore? Biggest weapon: Silva- Muay Thai clinch / USC- OJ (What? Too soon?!)
Brock Lesnar: Florida (Tim Tebow)
This comparison was a relatively easy one. Both of them are the goliaths of their respective craft. You either hate them or you love them. Lesnar is the proverbial Tim Tebow of MMA, except instead of walking on water and the jump-pass, Lesnar drinks Coors light and will break your face. No doubt about it, they’re both the real deal. But wouldn’t we just get so much joy to hear that they were caught cuddling with their male roommate.
Lyoto Machida: VA Tech
Machida may be the baddest man on the planet that no-one outside of the MMA circle seems to know nothing about. Most people can’t name a player from VA Tech, unless you count Frank Beamer’s goiter, and they’re ranked #7 in the country. Oh and by the way, they’ll both kick your ass, one with karate, the other with special teams.
Chris Leben: Boise State
We all remember the class clown in high school. Now let’s imagine if he could kill a man with his bare hands. Boise State is to be the clown of the NCAA, they have blue turf for Gods sake. Either way, they both are the real deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Fedor Emelianenko: Notre Dame
This is a match made in heaven. Emelianenko won’t sign with UFC and fight the big boys, Notre Dame won’t join a conference. Both of their schedules are relatively cupcake, but somehow everyone includes their name in the best of the best. We’re definitely ready for either one to step up to the plate, but wouldn’t that just be too easy. Let the pound-for-pound/ power rankings commence, gag me.
Rampage: Tennessee
We all know Rampage is from Tennessee, but that’s not why he’s so much like the Volunteers. Tennessee recently posed their players shirtless in front of an orange Lambo. C’mon, who couldn’t see Rampage posing in front of Lamborghini with Lane Kiffin while they both humped a reporter’s leg. Easy Boy! If only Quinton would yell like Coach Orgeron, he’d perhaps the best most feared man in MMA.
Couture: Penn State
Randy Couture may be the Joe Paterno of MMA, but he’ll sneak up on you. 6 more fights? At this rate he may be fighting until he’s actually Joe Pa’s age.
Joe Rogan: Kirk Herbstreit
Guys, you ever wonder why your girlfriend doesn’t complain for the 3 hours you watch College Gameday. It’s because she’s probably fantasizing over what Kirk Herbstreit and his fabulous fake-bake would be like in the sack. If you’re watching the UFC 103 preview on SPIKE for 2 hours and your girl is beside you, she’s either a true MMA fan or she’s drooling over Rogan.
I’m done hating. These are two guys that I would love to be. They get paid to follow the sport they love, talk for a few minutes, and have every female on the planet drool over them. I’d give up (*insert amazing thing here) for my entire life just to be them for five minutes. Screw Malkovich, I’d crawl through a tiny door to be these two anytime
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Just so you ladies know. Fedor is 7-0 against UFC champs. In January he fought the #2 ranked fighter in the world in Arlovski and KO’d him. He beat up Big Nog 3 times before Nog won the belt in the UFC. Oh and Big Nog just beat up Randy worse than Brock did. You see Fedor owns half of M1, why would he want to leave without getting a piece of the action? Thats like starting a Mom and Pop store from scratch, and while you still own that business, you take a job at Wal Mart for no money. Oh and Brock has 5 fights, fedor has 30. Brock is the one that needs to prove he’s better than Fedor, not the other way around.
by alan on Sep 11, 2009 4:23 PM EDT reply actions
You see, I can’t really agree or disagree with you cause I don’t know a damn thing about college football. The piece was actually written by our buddy Avery. However, I do think that Lesnar would probably have no chance against Fedor. Brock is a classic lay and pray fighter, who just happens to have fists the size of hams, which makes for some pretty hard punches. So I guess if he could knock Fedor down and lay on top of him, then he’d have a chance.
by Donna on Sep 11, 2009 7:14 PM EDT up reply actions











