World MMA Awards.  Yay!

Okay kiddies, here we go!  Since this is online, the quality sucks the big one, but we'll deal.  John Hefron is hosting. I'm finding the whole process slightly embarrassing.  No one is laughing all that much.  Awkward!!!  Oh no!  Even worse!!!  Bad bad band and super awful banter.  I'm going to have to watch this from behind a pillow.  So as not to spoil the fun, more after the jump!

Gym of the Year goes to Greg Jackson.  Well obviously!

Oh boy.  The jokes don't get any better kids.  They're actually getting much, much worse.  Jay Hieron just had to say, "The one thing these gloves have in common is that none of them fit Brock Lesnar's hands."  How awful.  Best Gloves goes to UFC. 

Uh-oh.  Our feed has frozen.......so how about them Mets? ..........The price of gas seems to have stabilized...........So universal health care in America huh?  Crazy!.........So I went to the doctor yesterday and he said the rash I have on my And we're back!  Son of a whore!  We missed Amir presenting!  Why, oh why do you hate us so?!  Tap out wins best MMA Clothing.

Yay!  He's presenting another one!  Oh happy day!!!  Amir is wearing a t-shirt, but he did get rid of the mullet, so we'll forgive him.  He's presenting with Dana White.  It's really nice when the boss likes you a whole lot.  I would know, and I'm universally liked.  Breakout fighter of the Year is Brock Lesnar.

Oh no.  Back to very unfunny stuff.  Some weird Randy Couture Divorce Attorney fake commercial.  Awful.  Next commerical is the knockout Snuggie.  I am actually amused!

Ugh, now for some reason it's repeating itself.  I hope you all appreciate what we put up with to make you happy.

Okay, its working again.  Oh goodness.  More very bad jokes from John Hefron.  Nobody is laughing at this awful t-shirt thing and I am literally cringing.  Best MMA Brand goes to Tapout.  Well, of course it does. 

Best MMA Journalist.  Oh guys!  It was such an honor just to be nominated!  We'd like to thank......oh, that's right.  These things go to people who write for websites, not blogs.  The winner is John Morgan from MMA Junkie.

Female fighter of the year goes to Cris Cyborg.  Well this is good.  She deserved to win, though I thought it would go to Gina Carano on account of the fact that she's so pretty and all.

Knockout of the Year award.  Arianne looks terrified of the guy from Pantera.  He in turn looks likes he want to swallow her whole.  Winner is Henderson vs Bisping.  I know people just love this one cause they hate Bisping so much, but I really don't think that this was the best of the year.  What about Todd Duffee? 

Oh goodness, no.  More John Hefron nonsense.  So, so bad.  Beth says its a tough crowd, and it is, but this is just really, really not funny.

Frank Mir.  Yay!  Looking handsome and totally not juiced.  Leading Man award.  Imagine UFC would win, but Mask may get the posthumous vote.  Winner is Dana White.

Oh NO!!!!!!  Burlesque dance crew!!!!  This is so, so, so awkward.  Plus, the dancers are totes out of synch.  Please, please make this stop.  I promise to start eating more veggies if you could only make this end.  Oh, I guess someone is really pissed at me cause now they've taken off their corsets and are dancing around in the bra and panties.  Break time!

Roy Nelson is presenting Best MMA Shorts with some poker chick.  There are a lot of poker people presenting.  I guess there's free booze or something.  Tapout wins, of course.

Submission of the Year.  Wow.  Some really good nominees.  Toby Imada wins.  Yeah, that makes sense.  That was a truly sick submission.

Umm, so there doing this weird fighters as kids thing.  With a little Urijah Faber and Mike Brown, and then Lyoto Machida.  It's just so, so bad.

Wanderlei SIlva does not look like himself.  He has the skin of a baby's ass (soft, not covered in poo and baby powder).  Kind of funny, with Scott Ian translating what Silva says.  UFC wins best Promoter.  Well, duh!

More "commercials".  Yuck.  One with Junie Browning.  Not okay at all.

Wilmer Valderama and Tito Ortiz.  It's bad when Tito is the more eloquent of the pair.  Media Coverage Award.  Again, its a pleasure just to be nominated.  Oh, right.  Apparently Pantydropper of the Week isn't "serious journalism".  MMA Junkie wins. 

Best Ring Girl.  Surprisingly, this is probably the biggest AWKWARD moment of the night, as four of the five nominees no longer work as ring girls.  Arianny wins.  Crisis averted.

Nice tribute to Charles "Mask" Lewis, who wins a Lifetime Achievement Award.  A nice moment.

Best European Fighter.  And we're back to the awkward banter.  Fab.  Can't imagine Fedor won't win this thing, though of course you know I voted for my best boyfriend Mike Bisping.  Gegard Mousasi wins.  I am wrong.

OH NO!  We're doing the kid fighter thing again.  MAKE IT STOP!!!!

Dan Henderson and Rashad Evans present, but not before the lady voice needs to say her extremely easy introduction three times.  Production value is key, folks.  Best Fight!  Yipee!  I've been pretty vocal that my vote is Guida vs Sanchez at the TUF 9 Finale.  I know most people like Noguiera vs. Couture, but I'm not biting.  The winner is Sanchez and Guida.  Vindication!!!  Bring on the crazy!  Not only is he nuts, but he also appears to be drunk!  Loving it!

And it's almost over!  Fighter of the Year time.  The only nominees I can get behind here are GSP & Anderson Silva.  The winner is GSP.  Apparently I have magical powers of foresight.

So it's all over,  I'm actually kind of looking forward to watching this on Versus to see how they gussy it up in post production.  Bring on the laugh track!